


Eat My Ass!

by jacquelee



Series: Writer's Month 2020 [10]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Sarah Jane Adventures, The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Gen, it doesn't have a character tag, the eat my ass bunny from the Magicians is the main character here, what a disappointment lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25843894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: Before arriving at its destination, the Fairy Queen's rude bunny gets turned around a few times, visiting some other folks.
Series: Writer's Month 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1861585
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2
Collections: Writer's Month 2020





	Eat My Ass!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Writer's Month 2020](https://writersmonth.tumblr.com) for the Day 10 prompt Bunnies.
> 
> Thanks to [facethestrange](http://archiveofourown.org/users/facethestrange) for the super fun idea. :D

"Aaaaahh"

Tara was helping Dawn with her homework in the Magic Box when they both jumped as a scream and a string of expletives rang out from behind the counter. They looked at each other and then ran into the direction of the scream. 

What they found made it hard for both of them not to laugh. There was Anya, standing on a table, an ancient scroll, clearly the first object she had found, but hardly a weapon, directed towards something brown and fluffy on the floor, something that now hopped towards her a few more steps, causing another scream.

"Bunnies! Why is it always bunnies? Take it away! Kill it! Kill it!"

Tara tried very hard to keep in her laugh and stepped towards the bunny, but immediately stopped and actually herself took a little step backwards when it started talking. 

"Eat my ass!"

Dawn burst out laughing while Tara frowned a little and Anya was near hysterical.

"What the hell?"

"It's a demon! It's some kind of hell spawn, I'm telling you! All bunnies are evil and this one is the most evil!"

"Okay, I think it's probably just a spell gone-"

Before Tara could finish the bunny vanished into thin air as if it had never been there to begin with. Anya insisted on them checking every corner of the store before she agreed to come back down from the table, but eventually, Dawn and Tara resumed their work, both still laughing every time they remembered the bunny or whatever it was.

\---------

The Legends were discussing a new fugitive somewhere in medieval Europe, when suddenly a bunny appeared on the top of the center console. Mona squealed and made a move to pick it up but Ava stopped her, shaking her head, cautioning everyone. Sara frowned and addressed the ceiling.

"Um, Gideon, do you have any idea what that could be?"

"It appears to be an interdimensional traveler, Captain. I can clearly detect residual magic, but I cannot tell where it is from or if it was supposed to come here."

"Okay. Charlie, any ideas?"

Charlie got close to the bunny, inspecting it carefully.

"Nope. Looks like a normal animal to me."

Suddenly, the bunny spoke and most of them jumped a little.

"Eat my ass!"

Everyone was quiet for a second, then the tension erupted in laughter when Mona indignantly stated:

"That's rude!"

Before they could investigate further, the bunny disappeared again and Sara tried to get the Legends back on track for the team meeting, but that turned out quite impossible because everyone just wanted to talk about the bunny, each throwing out more ridiculous theories than the other.

Eventually, Sara called it quits when they had been laughing nonstop for five minutes because Zari had rolled her eyes at all of them and said quite seriously they might as well suggest it was the reborn form of Mallus coming back from hell to take revenge on them all.

\---------

"Sarah Jane!"

"Up here!"

Sarah Jane and Rani both looked up smiling when Sky came barging into the attic, but they both frowned when they realized that she was holding a large bunny in her arms, grinning at it.

"I didn't know you had pets! It's so cute! What is its name?"

Sarah Jane carefully stood up, exchanging a look with Rani. 

"That's not mine. Where did you find it?"

"Oh, it was just sitting on the floor in the living room. I don't know how it got there."

Behind them, the voice of Mister Smith suddenly piped up.

"Sarah Jane, I would advice caution. While I cannot detect any sign of it being alien, there are some unusual readings coming from this animal."

Sarah Jane was just about to answer Mister Smith when the bunny did something she was absolutely not expecting, it spoke.

"Eat my ass!"

Sky laughed. 

"It wants us to eat it! That is so weird. But what is an ass?"

Sarah Jane was much more concerned with the fact that there was a talking animal in her attic than with swear words right now, so she asked Sky to put the bunny down on the floor, which she did, clearly confused by Sarah Jane's worry. All of them took a few steps back and Rani put an arm around Sky, looking at her a little conspiratorially to bring her spirits back up.

"How about you go and ask Clyde that? And tell him that he neglected his duties of teaching you important swear words." 

She grinned when Sky's face lit up again and she all but hopped out of the door.

Sarah Jane looked at her a little scandalized. 

"What? As if he wasn't going to teach her that anyways."

Knowing that full well, Sarah Jane laughed but then got distracted by the bunny disappearing. She shrugged.

"Well, I guess it's someone else's problem now. Come on, let's get back to that article."


End file.
